01
Place the Call
Tap dispatch. Tell us your address, your dog count, and how long it has been since the yard saw justice. We respond inside the hour.
BADGE 12.05 . NORTHWEST ARKANSAS UNIT
DISPATCH
10-4. UNIT 12 EN ROUTE TO BENTONVILLE.
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WE ARE HERE.
YOUR YARD. APPREHENDED.
The POOlice patrol Northwest Arkansas yards on a fixed schedule. We respond to citizen tips, conduct full sweeps, and remove every offender. No yard left behind. No officer ever complains.
ON DUTY 24/7
0YARDS PROTECTED
0% SATISFACTION GUARANTEE
Case Procedure 001
How it Works.
Three steps. No paperwork. No mess. We answer the call, we deploy the unit, we restore order to your lawn.
02
The Unit Deploys
An officer arrives in uniform. Lawn is swept end to end. Every offender bagged, sealed, and removed. We document each visit.
03
Case Closed
You receive a confirmation report. Your yard is restored. Your dog walks proud. Order is preserved across the property line.
Most Frequent Offenders
The Suspects.
Hover any file to read the full incident report. These are the most common perpetrators caught on Northwest Arkansas lawns.
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 47.A . APPREHENDED
The Brown Bandit
Modus Operandi
Strikes at dawn. Always near the rose bush. Leaves a uniform deposit in a perfect ring. Suspected accomplice: a Labrador.
CHARGE: AGGRAVATED LOITERING
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 88.K . AT LARGE
Midnight Mover
Modus Operandi
Operates exclusively after sundown. Targets back yards. Disappears into shadow. Eyewitnesses report a faint silhouette and a soft sigh.
CHARGE: SECOND DEGREE LURKING
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 12.G . CONVICTED
Repeat Offender
Modus Operandi
Returns to the same crime scene daily. Dispatcher reports indicate three distinct deposits per visit. Treats the entire lawn as evidence locker.
CHARGE: SERIAL DEPOSITING
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 33.B . PROCESSED
Yard Crasher
Modus Operandi
Tiny stature. Major impact. Targets the corner of the porch. Believed to operate solo but rumored to have a partner across the fence.
CHARGE: TRESPASS WITH INTENT
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 203.S . WARNED
Squirrel Enthusiast
Modus Operandi
Distracted by every airborne mammal. Leaves crime scene mid-deposit when target appears. Forensic team reports unusual scatter pattern across multiple zip codes.
CHARGE: PUBLIC DISTURBANCE — SQUIRREL-RELATED
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 247.P . OWN RECOGNIZANCE
Porch Prowler
Modus Operandi
Wears tactical sunglasses. Strikes during the Amazon delivery window. Believed to coordinate with the front-door welcome mat.
CHARGE: AGGRAVATED LOITERING NEAR PACKAGE
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 309.B . AT LARGE
Back Forty Bandit
Modus Operandi
Operates exclusively in the far corner of the yard, maximum distance from the house. Strategy: out of sight, out of mind. Estimated 47 incidents before discovery.
CHARGE: GRAND CONCEALMENT
6'5'4'3'2'1'
CASE 357.T . INVESTIGATING
Trophy Hunter
Modus Operandi
Show-quality coat, blue ribbon attitude. Refuses to use the designated bathroom area. Believes the manicured front lawn is for displaying achievements.
CHARGE: PUBLIC DISPLAY OF ENTITLEMENT
Active Roster . Now Hiring
Officers On Duty.
Three patrol levels. Choose the unit that matches your yard's threat profile. Switch any time. Cancel any time. Your first inspection is on the house.
Patrol Level I
Rookie
$37/mo
One patrol per month
- Full property sweep, monthly
- Up to 1 dog included
- Bagged and removed
- Visit confirmation report
- Free first inspection
Most Patrolled
Patrol Level II
Deputy
$67/mo
Patrol every other week
- Full property sweep, twice monthly
- Up to 2 dogs included
- Premium odor neutralizer applied
- Photo documented sweeps
- Same officer assigned each visit
- Free first inspection
- Priority dispatch
Patrol Level III
Sheriff
$97/mo
Weekly patrol on a fixed day
- Full property sweep, weekly
- Unlimited dogs covered
- Premium odor neutralizer applied
- Patio and porch detail included
- Gate and fence line walk
- Photo documented sweeps
- Dedicated officer on a fixed day
- Free first inspection
- Priority dispatch + holiday coverage
100%
SATISFACTION
GUARANTEE
SATISFACTION
GUARANTEE
The POOlice Pledge
If your yard is not patrolled to your standard, we return the next business day at no charge. If it still falls short, your visit is on us. No paperwork. No questions. Just clean grass.
Active Patrol Zones
Patrol Routes.
The POOlice serve every major city across Northwest Arkansas. We deploy from our Rogers command post and rotate units across these jurisdictions every week.
Case Files . Public Record
Testimony.
Verified statements from citizens whose yards have been restored to lawful condition.
CLOSED
CASE FILE 047.A . BENTONVILLE
My back yard was a war zone. The Deputy showed up Tuesday at 9am sharp, full uniform, and left it spotless. Bruno can finally roam free.
CLOSED
CASE FILE 088.K . FAYETTEVILLE
I have three labs. Three. The Sheriff plan handles them like it's nothing. Best money I spend each month and my wife stopped complaining about the deck.
CLOSED
CASE FILE 112.D . ROGERS
The text confirmation with the photo is genius. I know the job is done before I even walk outside. Officer Mike is a professional. Five stars.
Most Wanted Intel
Citizen FAQ.
Common questions, answered straight. If we did not cover it, the dispatcher will.
Do I need to be home for a patrol?
No. Most of our citizens are at work when we patrol. We just need access to the yard. A gate code, a side gate, or a key box. We send a photo confirmation when the sweep is complete.
What about my dogs while you are working?
We ask that dogs are inside or kenneled during the patrol. Our officers carry treats and are dog people, but for safety and speed we keep the yard cleared during the sweep.
Is there a contract?
No long term contract. Cancel any time with 7 days notice. We earn your business every visit. If you do not love the result, we make it right or refund the visit.
What happens to the waste?
All waste is double bagged in heavy duty contractor bags, sealed, and removed from your property. We dispose of it at a permitted commercial waste facility. Nothing stays in your trash can.
Do you work in winter or rain?
Yes. Rain, shine, light snow, the patrol runs. In severe weather we reschedule to the next available day at no extra charge. You get a text the day before with the new ETA.
What if my yard has been let go for months?
We have a one time deep cleanup option, $77 to $147 depending on yard size and condition. After that you can roll into any monthly tier. We will quote it for free during the first inspection.
Place Your Call
Make
the
Call.
Drop your address and we respond inside the hour during business hours. After hours, we book you for the next patrol day. Your first inspection is always free.
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Dispatch Hotline(479) 633-1373
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Email Tip LineTcb.mma@gmail.com
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Command Post1616 S 8th St, Rogers, AR 72756